Once again, this week I am blown away by all that I am reading & learning. It is difficult for me to stop myself from highlighting almost every sentence when reading the “Master Keys.” I honestly will need a new highlighter before long!
How is it that I have never heard of this book before?! I can see how some of the ideas do skew to the “woo-woo” side, but based on scientific facts and research, he leads to very logical conclusions. Ideas that make me think about things I never really have thought about before- such as what is “I.” It is not just my brain, but more spiritual, or as he says, the “world within.”
I am excited for the time when I “do not wear (themselves) out.” The concepts of having energy, good health, continuous positivity and NOT wearing out has been beyond my reach until this class started. I frequently run in cycles of high energy, getting things done, then do the self-sabotage thing. I have not felt that I could maintain high levels of achievement. I felt it required too much energy that I did not have.
Making a goals list hurt because I always failed before, so I got to the point where I did not make goals lists. What was the point when I was just going to fail? “Modern psychology tells us that when we start something and do not complete it…we are forming the habit of failure.” (Hannel 4.12) Ouch- This was me. I never made lists, I was very reluctant to start something new because I am a “perfectionist” and I don’t like failure, I hated having a goals list because I never accomplished it anyway.
Now, shew-wee, now things are different. I have hope. I am already seeing some small changes. The “Do it now” has probably helped the most with my procrastination problem. I am doing my best to remind myself that I am achieving my small service tasks, but I am still scared. The “big ones” scare me, I have failed so many times before, I hate failure. It sometimes hurts for me to read these new services this week, I get a pit in my “gut” and it is hard for me to imagine my success when I am remembering past failures.
Speaking out loud helps so much! My voice is louder than the whispers of doubts in my mind. I want to do my best because when else will this be easier? When else will I have the chance to have a new start?
I have to remember that every day can be my new start, built upon a foundation of the achievements of the day before. I am slowly building the foundation of success, and I can only go upwards from here.